Five steps to a "Breakthrough Strategy"

• Go to the Balcony
• Step to their Side
• Reframe
• Build them a goldenbridge
• Do not escalate- Use power to educate

Go to the Balcony

• Suspend natural reactions- three common reactions：Striking back, Giving in, Breaking off
• Going to the balcony means distancing from your natural impulses and emotions- this will keep you focus on the ultimate goal-a deal that is better than your BATNA
• Some Tactics: Recognize the tactic, Know your buttons, Pause and Say Nothing, Rewind the tape, Take a time out, Do not make important decisions on the spot

Step to their Side

• Stepping to their side means doing 3things: Listen to what the other party has to say, Acknowledge their point, their feelings and their competence and status, Agree with them whenever possible
• Listen Actively: Listening may be the cheapest concession you can make, Listening requires patience and Self-discipline, It is not enough just to listen, you must communicate that you have heard what the other said- Do this by pharaphrasing and asking for corrections.
•  Acknowledge their point: Acknowledging does not mean agreeing with the other party's point, Acknowledging means that you view the otherside'spoint as one valid point of view among others
• Acknowledge their feelings: Behind anopponent's positions often lie emotions, Caution an insincere acknowledgment is easy to spot, Body language and tone count just as much as words, Offer an apology when necessary 
• Agree whenever you can: Agree without conceding,Accumulate yeses to change relationship between the parties, Each yes reduces tension

Reframe

• Reframing works because every message is subject to interpretation
• You have the power of positive perception-the ability to put a problem-solving frame around whatever the other side says
• Reframing Techniques: Askproblemsolvingquestions-"why?";"why not?";"what if?", Ask for the other party's advice, Ask "what makes that fair/", Use open-ended questions, Tap the power of silence, Deflect attacks by changing it to an attack on the problem, Expose tricks

Build them the Golden Bridge

• Instead of pushing the other side toward an agreement, you need to reframe are treat from their position as an advance toward a better solution
• Start where the other side is in order to guide them toward eventual agreement
• Building a golden bridge makes it easier for the other side to surmount the four common obstacles to agreement:Not their idea, Unmet interests, Fear of losing face, Too much, too fast
• Involvetheotherside: Ask for and build on the other side's ideas, Ask for constructive criticism, Offer them a choice
• Satisfy unmet needs: Resistance often stems from unmet needs, Do not dismiss needs as irrational, Do not over look basic human needs, Do not assume a fixed pie: Look for low-cost, high-benefit trades, Use an if-them formula
• Help the other side save face: Help them back away without backing down, Show how circumstances have changed, Ask for third party recommendation, Point to a standard of fairness
• Do not rush to the finish.

Do not escalate：Use power to educate

• Often,when negotiations are frustrating, parties switch from problems solving game to apower game
• Use power to educate that only way for them to win is for both sides to win: Let them know the consequences, Ask reality-testing questions such as: "what do you think will happen if we do not agree?", "what do you think I wil do?", "What will you do?"
• Warn, do not threaten
• Demonstrate your BATNA
• Remind opponent of the Golden Bridge

Forge a lasting agreement

• Do not ignore implementation
• Design deal to minimize risks
• Build in dispute resolution procedures